


the boy you can't let go

by aurorahurricane



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: A little fluffy, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom!Jihoon, Jihoon hates love, M/M, No cheating, Smut, Soonyoung is in love?, Swearing, Top!Soonyoung, fuck buddies soonhoon, minwon are mentioned briefly, smut with feelings, things are just complicated, valentine's offering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:54:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29431311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurorahurricane/pseuds/aurorahurricane
Summary: “You can’t tell me you love me just because we fucked a few times.” Jihoon growls in his ear. His words from earlier echoing loudly in his own head.Soonyoung only smiles and says, “I was gonna say that I want you to ride me.”Jihoon glares at him through hooded eyes. “Asshole.”—Soonyoung and Jihoon are fuck buddies. Originally just buddies but Soonyoung was heartbroken and Jihoon can’t say no to a hot friend. And things are a little complicated.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 44





	the boy you can't let go

**Author's Note:**

> happy hearts day :)

“You can’t tell someone you love them just because you’ve fucked a few times.” Jihoon scoffs.

“But what if I do?” Soonyoung pouts, putting his face a little closer to Jihoon to show his puppy eyes.

Jihoon thinks it’s cute but shoves his face away and leaves him on the couch, “These are stupid questions, Kwon.”

“Haven’t you ever fallen in love, Jihoon?” Soonyoung turns his body to follow Jihoon as he grabs a drink from the refrigerator.

“Of course, but that was a long time ago.”

“How long?”

Jihoon pauses, “Three years ago? Something like that.”

Soonyoung can see that the question caught him off-guard and he knows exactly why. It’s also one of the reasons why he’s in Jihoon’s apartment.

It’s a temporary arrangement. They are two consenting adults who agreed to meet at a scheduled time to satisfy each other’s needs. To put it simply, Soonyoung and Jihoon are fuck buddies. Originally just buddies but Soonyoung was heartbroken and Jihoon can’t say no to a hot friend.

It is a known fact among their peers that after his last boyfriend, Jihoon does not do relationships. So when Soonyoung approached him one drunken night saying that he needed a good fuck to help him forget, Jihoon was more than happy to oblige. That was the start of their agreement. And it wasn’t a difficult agreement to fulfill either since they were close friends to begin with although sometimes Soonyoung stays a little too much at his place but Jihoon never has the heart to kick him out even if he empties out the fridge.

Jihoon sees that a bottle of kimchi is the only edible thing left and reminds himself to charge Soonyoung for all the food he’s consumed.

“You know,” Soonyoung hesitates. “We…haven’t broken up yet.”

Jihoon freezes and his face drops.

Soonyoung turns away to sit properly, like a kid being scolded by his parents, and pulls at the stray threads of his ripped jeans. A thick silence spreads in the air until he hears a hand slam on the kitchen counter. Soonyoung flinches and almost creates a bigger hole on his pant leg.

“This,” Jihoon sighs. “This is why I don’t do relationships.”

“I know…” Soonyoung whispers to himself and waits for the bigger blow.

“Soonyoung, I don’t want to get tangled in your mess, please.”

“This won’t get messy!”

“Wonwoo is my friend too! What’s going to happen if he finds out?” Jihoon paces with his hands on his hips, willing himself to calm down.

“Jihoon, I—“

“No.”

“Baby?“

“NO.”

“Wait! Just listen, please!” Soonyoung begs. He takes a deep breath and stands to face Jihoon who’s staring at him with wide eyes as if threatening him to speak. “We took a break.”

Jihoon’s eyes narrow and takes a few seconds to process his words. “So, you haven’t broken up but you’re _on a break_?” he says slowly.

“Before you say anything else,” Soonyoung holds both his hands up in front of him as if he’s taming the other, knowing Jihoon is more difficult to appease. “We, Wonwoo and I, made it clear that if we were to hook up with other people, it was fine.” Soonyoung gauges Jihoon’s expression before continuing. “And I’m not too sure about this but I think Wonwoo already knows about us.”

“Oh? No shit?” Jihoon scoffs and throws his hands up in the air. He really needs that glass of water right now. Soonyoung starts to nervously pull at the hem of his shirt and watches Jihoon pace around again.

“How long is this break of yours going to be, huh? We’ve been fucking for months, Soonyoung!”

“Yeah, Ji. I don’t know either.” Soonyoung sighs and collapses back on the couch. He hasn’t felt this drained in a long time. Maybe because he didn’t expect this conversation to happen now since every time he’s in Jihoon’s apartment all they do is have fun (in more ways than one). The painful truth is settling uncomfortably in Soonyoung’s chest. He stares at the ceiling. “Wonwoo hasn’t contacted me ever since we took a break. I guess I missed having someone.”

And that’s who Jihoon is. He’s someone’s someone when they don’t have anyone. He could be a one-night stand, a booty call, a warm body to press close to so you don’t feel alone. After all that’s who he was to the last guy he fell in love with. That’s all he’s ever been to every guy since then.

“I tried. I really did. I’d send him a message everyday and called sometimes but he’d never pick up or respond. After a month, I told myself that I’d make a final attempt. I called him one last time. If he answers then I’d still hope we could fix what we had but if he didn’t then I’d have no choice but to let go.” Soonyoung sighs. “That was the same night I kissed you at the club.”

Jihoon remembers. He remembers how Soonyoung shamelessly grinded against him on the dance floor and how he smashed their lips together in a dark corner.

You can’t blame Jihoon for thinking they’ve already broken up. For the past few months, he kept seeing Mingyu share vague photos he’s taken of someone who looked very much like Wonwoo from a certain angle and Wonwoo would also post about the places he went to that suspiciously looked similar to the background of Mingyu’s photos. It’s not hard to figure out. Eventually, Jihoon did some cross-referencing on different social media accounts, which he considered as _necessary research_ , to get the assurance that Soonyoung was completely out of the picture so he’d have no hesitations about getting involved.

But before anything else, Soonyoung is his friend.

Who is right there on his living room couch with the saddest eyes Jihoon has ever seen. Soonyoung is bright and cheerful. Even when he was hurting, he would mask it with his playfulness like that one time he broke his arm and had to rest for weeks. They knew he was bummed about being out of commission for a long time but when Soonyoung came back, he just joked about having the best staycation of his life, a peaceful getaway from his rowdy colleagues.

Jihoon could see right through him. He’d seen the longing in his eyes when he would hold him tightly at the end of the night and Soonyoung would lean up to his ear to whisper “thank you” before falling asleep. He’d seen heartache in the way Soonyoung cried to a cheesy rom-com they watched on Netflix. He’d also seen pure happiness when he gave Soonyoung a small gift on a random day because he wasn’t able to give him one on his birthday.

Jihoon doesn’t notice that Soonyoung is now walking towards him. When he looks up at the boy, all Jihoon sees now is desperation. The same desperation Soonyoung had when he first came to him six months ago.

“Jihoon…” Soonyoung is right in front of him. In his eyes, Jihoon sees something new, something more intense. Jihoon doesn’t move, held in place by Soonyoung’s gaze.

Soonyoung puts his hands gently on Jihoon’s waist and slowly pulls him closer. He nuzzles his head on the crook of his neck and Jihoon, so pliant and willing, could only turn his head to let Soonyoung take all the space he needed. This is what Soonyoung loves about him. He never resists and was always happy to give him what he wants.

“Baby…” Soonyoung mumbles on Jihoon’s skin, lips warm and wet. “I need you.”

Jihoon shivers at the tone. There are goosebumps where Soonyoung’s breath touched. Then he recognizes what he’s seen in Soonyoung’s eyes. It wasn’t just lust. The man’s voice was hoarse with desire. He _wants_ , he _needs_. As if the air in his lungs was no longer enough to keep him alive.

And Jihoon knows that this is the only thing he can’t give. He can’t give himself. Not this way. Never again.

So he leans up to Soonyoung’s ear and whispers, “Fuck me…”

“…then leave and never come back.”

**Author's Note:**

> smut and more feelings in the next chapter ;)  
> sorry to leave you hanging ♡
> 
> let me know what you think so far  
> xoxo


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